Sunday morning. 4.00am. Sound of gunfire- rapid staccato–ratatatatatatatata. Drop down. Hide under the bed. Cock my ears. Daaaaaaaaaaaamn!!!!!!. It is only the sound of angelic language aka tongues. Maame Esi is at it again. This woman ought to be employed by the security agencies. She is very good. A human machine gun without bullets.
The deal… is this. Every Sunday morning Maame Esi prays at the top of her voice and the language changes every Sunday. The neighbourhood is caught unawares, like today. Hmmmmm. Why? Now I hear her yelling at everybody to get ready for church. She throws in a few choice words for the slow ones. Sunday morning.
Today be today. All die be die. I decide to visit Maame Esi’s church.I honour a long standing invitation from Maame Esi. Brethren pray for me!!!!
Praises!! Praises!! The congregation is singing praises as we enter. Come and see dancing: breaks, cotolo, co guon, agyeii, booty shaking, name it!! Sheeege!!! Pastors and elders are dancing like crazy. Harvest time!!!! hehehehehe!!!!
Sermon. Maame Esi jumps up at every opportunity to shout ” Praise the Lord”; ” Osofo preach on”;” Ingo no wo wo so” literally meaning ” The oil is on you” and the likes.
Funny bit here; actually food for thought. As soon as church is over, Maame Esi walks over to Auntie Ataa and accuses her of rumour mongering. Tempers flare. Insults are traded. Vulgar insults. Openly. Church premises. Wow!!! The saint just turned into a demon.
Asem Biggie!! Maame Esi invites me to her house for lunch. Good news. I happen to be starving. Bachelors do not have choice meals often. After all the display of piety, holiness, spiritual anointing a table of assorted drinks (water not included) is set before me. Eiiish. My glass runneth over. Maame is downing shots faster than ABC recitals. Kweeeemo. Now the language is unbecoming of her and on a Sunday too? Aaaaabaaa! Just before eating , Maame Esi gets a phone call. Words fly at supersonic speed. Finally the last word is at a snail’s pace……. Onya…………. Your guess is good. I cannot and will not write out that word. Maame Esi is picked up by a friend to attend the evening’s service. Walahi!! I leave for home. I am thinking.
There are many men and women amongst us today who lead a double life like Maame Esi. We portray holiness on one end and exhibit an unbecoming attitude on the other end. What message are sending out to those emulating us and our own selves? Brethren let us be true to ourselves. Onyame ehu wooo!!!
The deal… is this. Every Sunday morning Maame Esi prays at the top of her voice and the language changes every Sunday. The neighbourhood is caught unawares, like today. Hmmmmm. Why? Now I hear her yelling at everybody to get ready for church. She throws in a few choice words for the slow ones. Sunday morning.
Today be today. All die be die. I decide to visit Maame Esi’s church.I honour a long standing invitation from Maame Esi. Brethren pray for me!!!!
Praises!! Praises!! The congregation is singing praises as we enter. Come and see dancing: breaks, cotolo, co guon, agyeii, booty shaking, name it!! Sheeege!!! Pastors and elders are dancing like crazy. Harvest time!!!! hehehehehe!!!!
Sermon. Maame Esi jumps up at every opportunity to shout ” Praise the Lord”; ” Osofo preach on”;” Ingo no wo wo so” literally meaning ” The oil is on you” and the likes.
Funny bit here; actually food for thought. As soon as church is over, Maame Esi walks over to Auntie Ataa and accuses her of rumour mongering. Tempers flare. Insults are traded. Vulgar insults. Openly. Church premises. Wow!!! The saint just turned into a demon.
Asem Biggie!! Maame Esi invites me to her house for lunch. Good news. I happen to be starving. Bachelors do not have choice meals often. After all the display of piety, holiness, spiritual anointing a table of assorted drinks (water not included) is set before me. Eiiish. My glass runneth over. Maame is downing shots faster than ABC recitals. Kweeeemo. Now the language is unbecoming of her and on a Sunday too? Aaaaabaaa! Just before eating , Maame Esi gets a phone call. Words fly at supersonic speed. Finally the last word is at a snail’s pace……. Onya…………. Your guess is good. I cannot and will not write out that word. Maame Esi is picked up by a friend to attend the evening’s service. Walahi!! I leave for home. I am thinking.
There are many men and women amongst us today who lead a double life like Maame Esi. We portray holiness on one end and exhibit an unbecoming attitude on the other end. What message are sending out to those emulating us and our own selves? Brethren let us be true to ourselves. Onyame ehu wooo!!!
#SilentNoises ~knm 
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