2015!! 2015!!! NO MORE KPA KPA KPA!!!

It is that time of the year again. We have been indoctrinated to believe the Son of Man was born around this period. Was He? Another day. Another time. Same place though.

It is also that time of the year when we as humans take stock of happenings in our lives over the course of the year. We are in the twelfth month of the year. Eleven months of no return. Some have been drinking Joy Daddy Bitters or Denkyi (New England Special Bitters). Others have been drinking Milk to be able to change complexion. White. Decisions made are lost forever. Good or bad. From Tamale to Accra, Goaso to Gambaga, Brofoyedru to Apedwasi, Bourkina Faso to Zabzugu Tatale, Atuabo to Aboadze, GNGC to GNPC, Terkper to Botchwey, Wontumi to Ibrahim, Joyce Dzidzor to AIDS commission, Muntari to Moses Parker, Justice Dzamefe to Nyantaki, Appiah to Grant, Nayele to Austria to London. VIP to VVIP (not the celebrated musicians), there is so much to ponder over. I hereby promise to….

My prayer for my country as we move into 2015, (I pray all the whatever overs take this as a prayer point (sharpened point) join me), is for our dear first gentleman to stay home. For one reason or the other, this man has just refused to live in his country of birth and nationality. His use of the presidential jet has become like the shoes of Kak Dee the famous walker. Traversing the face of the earth. Why? Not surprising, the jet refused to move during the recent farmers day celebration. Even the plane was appalled that Alcoholic beverages and toilet rolls would be on the prize list for honorable farmers. What is it that ails the first gentleman that he cannot and refuses to stay and manage the affairs of his country? He only pops in to visit. Then again, is he really in charge of the ship? Or in his words, the car? I will be quick to assume he is outside of his own vehicle with an unlicensed driver at the helm. Pray. In Tongues. Holy ghost fiiiiiiiiiire!!!

As the cedi was prayed for to rise (like soaked Gari), why will the same so-called not pray for the man to be endowed with leadership skills and wisdom? Some attribute the failures to his ministers but I say it is he. Each day has its own problems and each better than before. Compounding the failures of government is the rise of the one-man prophetic apostolic bishopric papacy in Christendom. Even the so-called man of God has decided to elaborate himself courtesy the Kpa kpa kpa movement. We have seen videos and read about the garbage some so-called spew out about their fellow human beings in their so-called Temples of worship. If they postulate that God created all and is in all, and we do not have eyes to see, why would you insult your fellow human in church to the joy and ignorance of your illiterate congregation? Please do not forget. Either you respect The Woman or I visit you in your dreams. I will be wearing woolen socks as I enter your dreams.

Hence, I keep blaming the media and the NCCE (national commission on civic education) for the lapses in the system. A systemic and systematic continuous effort at educating the masses is essential for the growth of the nation. Ghana is not getting any younger. Can she go on retirement if she had to?

We keep hearing of the gas plant firing on all cylinders; quality of gas better than Nigeria; Dumsor will be of the past soon; GNPC has taken over GNGC to ensure effectiveness; Ghana to go nuclear; more hydro electric dams to be built. Ghanaians do not need this rhetoric. They need light. Generated electrical power to run their homes and offices. Generated electrical power that is uninterrupted encourages the healthy growth of the economy. It makes people happy. What is the use of promises? Instead of having the nation at heart, ministers are playing political chaskele with their duties and the authority vested in them.

In 2015, I pray more committees and commissions to be set up. I have come to realize that is what we are good at as a people. I am equally amazed at the number of people who have sold their souls to the devil in exchange for money; trumpeting a tune that has no rhythm to it. I am surprised a committee or commission was not set up to look into the questionable disappearance of Castro the musician. There is the blatant disregard for the rule of law such that people do what they please with the impunity of New York sewer rats. If the proper thing had been done and observed, Castro would not feature in this piece. Abodam was arrested. Madness is on remand. Consummation of India hemp is his charge. (He lives in Ghana). It is news. Newspapers carry the story as banner headlines. Reviewng it during the week. Give prominence to the stories of massive corruption. Mention names. Let people be shamed. Someone steals Gh2 cedis, or a fowl, a loaf of bread and he or she is given a ten to fifteen years jail sentence. How? Why? Just because you want to be promoted? Nonsense. Jail those who are raping Ghana. Their first charge should be rape and then charge with embezzlement or causing financial loss to the state. So-called 300 being tried for corruption.

2014 was full of negatives. We made jokes out of predicaments. It was meant as a healing process. The prez refused to see or hear what was wrong. He wrongly assumed all is well. Then he promised to stop promising. Icing on the cake. Then he promised again. I love for people to be encouraged. Do it for all. Not just one or two. So many ‘ifs’. So many questions. Few people with a lot of drums all trying to make music. For those of us beyond the great deep blue pond, the noise irritates our eardrums so we are tempted to stay away forever but… The GFA is another entity that I believe has misled the people for far too long. A lawyer too at its head. A little transparency will do. Put yourself in the shoes of Appiah (what size does he wear?) Naniama.

As for those in charge of security at the ‘yaapor”, the least said about them the better. How on earth do you tell us as a people, you had no idea what was going on? 12.5 kg of pure refined white powder. People jumping over themselves as though doing the 110 meters hurdles just to cover up for the masters. Ghanaians are not that ignorant. No. The pretense of the judiciary in this matter is even appalling. Nothing will come of it. The crux of the matter is not being dealt with. Pertinent questions are not being asked. The law is an ass. A donkey. A moo. Mumu.

Uncle Seth and Uncle Kwasi, for the good of the country that provides for all your perks and girlfriends (maka maka)(alleged) needs, please put your egos aside and bash your heads together to do the work. Yes, bash.

O yes!!! Our Kung Fu masters. I nearly forgot about them. “ Your father chop the money so now it is my turn to chop the money. Nyafu nyafu nyafu. Hiiaaaaa” (in my Chinese voice). The legislative arm of Government. The president touted in your Shaolin temple the need to promote and use Made-in- Ghana goods. At the time, he was wearing Horseman shoes by Senaye. Was it only the shoes that were made in Ghana? Questions! Parliamentarians deemed it wise to travel all the way to China to purchase furniture and finishing’s for their workplace. How sad and odd. If it is Karate or Kung Fu they want to learn, some one ask them to get a Sensei. It is not by sitting on or using furniture (Made-in-China products) that would make you a shaolin master. Americans would have been masters by now. After the hue and cry, they gave us flimsy excuses of not having enough local carpenters to make the chairs. May be I could just ‘Muntari’ all of them. Speaker to cleaner.

Speaking of consummation and usage of Made-in-Ghana goods, does the first lady, second and third ladies, Chief Justice, female parliamentarians and others sport local wigs? Question? Do they use local handbags? Anyway in 2015, Katanka , a locally assembled vehicle would be launched in Ghana. The so-called inventor of Katanka does not even drive one himself. Hahahahaha.

Prayer points for 2015: President to stay home; all should use Made-in-Ghana goods; government and parliamentarians be endowed with wisdom; fake men and women of God should be exposed; Free education to be implemented ( No schools built yet 73 out of 200) ; all cocaine that IS NOT DETECTED at security checkpoints should turn to ‘kokonte’.

On this note, I wish all Ghanaians to elaborate themselves in the ensuing year. Please do not become a ‘kpakpamite’. Kpa kpa kpa!! Join the movement! Elaborate yourself!

By the way the fireworks to usher in the New Year will be launched at the Kumasi airport. It is now in a position to land planes at night. No ‘Dumsor’ there. Connect your houses to the airport grid. After all it is Christmas! It is now up to international standards with a shed for the main terminal. Celebration! Jubilation! Y3nti3 Obiaaa!!! Misplaced priorities! Joy daddy Bitters! Toilet Roll!

2015!!!2015!!!2015!!!2015!!! SEASON’S GREETINGS.

#SILENT NOISES 122014

The writer is an advocate, motivational speaker, writer and poet. He is also currently a host on Sankofa Radio (Sundays 11.30-1pm and every other Saturday beginning November 1^st 2014) transmitting on WRTC HARTFORD 89.3 FM and WRTCFM.COM