insanity of marriage

‘What God has put together, let no man put asunder’. Engagement. Wedding. Foreign (culture)? Traditional values. Ancestors. Longevity. Premature and Foolish and  Avoidable deaths.

These days it is normal to go to town and see an “Ama Boahemaa milky way” kind of lady  or any beautiful (in looks) lady and get married the next day. The pastors of the mushroom (not the kind to eat; very poisonous) churches will quickly prophesy and seal with a stamp (not mail stamp) that she is God-fearing and God-sent. If it is a Komla Dumor (my handsome Brother) built type of man, same prophesy. If any has money and easily parts with it (sowing seeds and tithing), quickly do they pronounce them husband and wife. The so-called counseling process is just a sham. All they seek is the name to make and the glamour attached to the ceremony.  I have a Ghanaian friend here in the States who was attending counseling sessions with the bride to be. The bride to be was fabulously rich and was cheating. With another brother. How? My friend caught them and called off the wedding. In two months she was married to another guy. What the heck? In the same church too. Same pastors and all. I am not about pastors and their so-called today. I am dealing with marriage. That august institution.

In the Ghanaian culture, engagements were seen as an act sanctifying marriage. I use ‘were’ because today, even though we have religious leaders present at such functions and blessing the union, it is deemed not lawful in God’s sight till you hear piipooopiiipooo on a mellow Saturday morning or afternoon. If my history and memory serve me right, before one got married, the respective families of the prospective applicants carried out background checks. Until all was found out to be okay, no dates for the ceremony would be set. All in good standing. Dates are set. First, would be the knocking drinks. A date would be set for the ceremony and depending on the tribe, a list of items for the groom to present would be given. More drinks would be presented at the main ceremony. Devoid of rings, they are considered married in the eyes of their families and community present. Not so today. I believe the Muslims still practice it. Simple marriage ceremony. After the traditional ceremony, then one would register the marriage at the Local Authority offices aka A.M.A.

Then came the churches. Big trouble. Fall in love. We will counsel you. Some did well. Some counseled especially the would-be-brides. Disaster. No longer were the background checks done. What our ancestors had done and used to survive was thrown to the dogs. We preferred to fall in love with Capital nonsense. Nonsense that would degenerate into fisticuffs worthy of world title bouts, murders that softened even hardened criminals, threats that made the devil cringe in his skin. Weddings were and are popularized now. Big society weddings. Failure to do so would amount to not showing love or being church mouse poor (these days they are not poor; very rich, riding expensive cars). Loan sharks and banking institutions vying to give out cut throat loans to would-be couples. Sad to say, all encouraged by some of these churches. What happened to our traditional values?

The Bible was brought to us on a silver platter. We were encouraged to close our eyes in prayer. When we finished praying, they had preyed on us. They stole our very own identity and replaced it with theirs. They sowed the seeds of discord and promiscuity amongst us. They told us it was the western way. The modern way. The way of the bible. Our ancestors were categorized as idol worshippers. Before the bible, they knew God. They gave reverence to God. Today our mothers are labeled as witches. Our mothers do not love us. Our mothers will kill us. After harboring us for nine months? The impudence of a dying cockroach. I dare say with the advent of Christianity, crime on all fronts has increased. People are no longer scared of the bible. They are scared of our time trusted traditions and their reprisals.

Society knew who was married to whom. That institution was revered. Then. Today your own friends, maybe the best men enjoy your wife more than you do. As for the men, even before they leave the wedding reception, they have already made their choices to supplement their wives. Like vitamins they call them “supplements”. Why? Why? Why?

If only we could marry religion and tradition. Give them a grand recognized marriage ceremony where it would be tailored to suit our culture and save would-be couples from debt. Then some lives would be saved. People would not commit suicides patricides, homicides. Threats would not be made.

Let the lives of the counselors and doings of the church reflect boldly the will of God. Call it as it is. Knowledge without wisdom is a travesty of education. Sense though is not common. It comes with maturity of conscience. Let your will power be your weapon if God has called you to do his bidding on earth. Fear not. If they the counselors and churches fail in their duties, let them be reminded the blood of innocent lives lost will forever be upon their heads and hands.

I am only a messenger.

#SILENTNOISES022015

The writer is a Master of Ceremonies, an advocate, motivational speaker, writer and poet. He is also currently a host on Sankofa Radio (Sundays 11.30-1pm and every other Saturday beginning November 1^st 2014) transmitting on WRTC 89.3 and WRTCFM.COM