I read the message on Facebook. It was short and urgent. It requested me to get in touch ASAP. This was in 2019
In the last days of January, 2020, while at church, I read the newsflash. I disregarded same. Though not close to me by any chance, it would hit very hard. He was an exemplary father and husband.
No matter how busy we are, there is the need to make time for those we call family and friends. When one is loved or you are loved, time is of no sequence because one would find the urgency and convenience to be in touch. Life is fleeting.
I hardly frequent Facebook these days so when I read the message, I was a day late. I immediately called that night. It was after 11:30 p. m. I went to bed knowing I had called. I was sure the call would be returned.
I drove home after church with tears in my eyes. Why on a Sunday? Why him? Why with his daughter? What would happen to his seven month old daughter? It could have been me. it could have been …
Every human is responsible for their actions and so to blame it on extenuating factors is only a facade. Most people attribute their actions as a reaction to some happening in their lives. There are times we choose to neglect people on purpose. There are times people hurt us in such a way that we ask ourselves why they chose to hurt us in particular? There are times all it takes is to say SORRY. There are no regrets for then what would you have to say? Had I known … Time is of essence. If only….
I had to go into class the following morning. I was apprehensive and could not fathom why. I kept thinking about the call though. Then my call was returned. My cuz Adei spoke to me with a shaking voice.
I can only imagine the shock as felt by his wife at that moment. The disbelief. Losing two people you love at a go. This life is not ours. “I will be right back” turned into ” gone into eternity”. Life is fleeting and is never assured us.
My mother comes from a large family. She had siblings maternally and siblings paternally. It was only when we had grown up and with the demise of both mom and dad that we began to meet and hear about mom’s paternal siblings. They were a lively bunch those aunties that we met. Then of course we met our cousins.
No human is an island and so when you meet family that are welcoming; when you have friends that have your back and wish you well and not your downfall, you want to either return that love fully or to your possible best.
He left a legacy. Everyone is in tears. He inspired. He motivated. He gave back. At 41, he was fatherly. He lives for his imprint is engraved in our hearts.
Cousin Adei did not mince words. Mom, my aunt was gone. She had packed bag and departed suddenly. She had joined her paternal sisters in the bosom of the Lord. She sent me the flyer for the funeral service in Maryland. I sat through class in silent pain and gut wrenching anguish. I was lost. I cried a sea within me yet smiled when others laughed with me. The blame was mine.
I never met my aunt. She was my mother’s junior sister. I only spoke on the phone with her a couple of times. All my questions will remain unanswered. How on earth do I attend the funeral service of an aunt I never did meet in person? I never really made time. I blame myself. The guilt is mine.
I share this story with you that you make time for true family and true friends. I share this story as a way of making amends so you do not make the same mistakes I committed. I share this story as an apology to my Aunt Veronica and my cousin(s).
I rewrote this piece to incorporate the legend KB and his daughter. May the souls of the departed rest well. Till we meet again, we shall strive to make amends here on earth.
Aunty sleep well. 💋
#SilentNoises ~knm 